redemption.

thats what guys need.

i take extra care as to how i react to the male species everytime i walk on the streets now. and believe me, its nothing of the good sort.

same for today. i dont think i mentioned abt this male thing that lives really near my area and who happens to work with me. hes got the im-high-and-mighty look, and his posture can make a 30cm ruler look like the leaning tower of pisa. in short, i dont like him.

but he held the door open for me. when i was abt 5 metres away from the door.

ONE POINT.

then ian the shit finally smsed me to ask me out AFTER DECADES. i see he still remembers im alive.

ONE POINT.

there i was on a bus on my way to toa payoh after work. i stared blankly outside the window like i always do. this truck drives up next to the bus, and this guy looked up at me and my collegue.

and grinned.

and waved.

OH.MY.GOD. i couldnt believe my own eyes. i grew hot in the face. it was not the waving, its not the grinning. its the fact that such an ugly piece of shit, (i really mean UGLY inside out) will actually have the bloody cheek to do such a fucking pervertic thing. i think he was desperate, or shameless, or psychotic, or horny, or just a loser who has resigned to fate that he will forever be a piece unwanted salted fish and needs to wank on the repulsed and revolted look on young girls to feel high again.

i showed him the finger.

MINUS TEN BIZILLION POINTS.

guys are BEYOND redemption.

isnt it amazing? 7 girls simultaneously mad at guys. who knows how many other ladies out there in the world are angry at guys too at the same point of time?

this can only prove one thing: guys really really really suck.

especially singaporean guys.

i know i havent been so public about this comment, afterall we should always give our singaporean guys a chance, right?

WRONG.

singaporean guys are fucking superficial, greedy, ugly, selfish and insensitive. the list can go on, but i shall not do so. the only super huge thing they have is their overwhelming EGO.

come on girls. dont lie and say you dont feel that way abt guys. and for girls who are attached, dont deny that you never felt at any point of time that your guy was being superficial/selfish/insensitive/egomaniacal. not once, not twice, not thrice, but more?

and for guys who are reading this, just fuck off.

search deep into your heart (if you have one) and see if have been deluding yourself all this while. you think you are good looking? no. you think you can get the girl? no. you think you are smart and charming? no. sometimes, you are so ugly inside out you reek of toxics. but hell no you dont realise it. instead, you think you're witty and charismatic and go around targeting at beautiful girl who dont even know you exist, reject, look down, and even criticise girls who are not as well endowed and think that you are such girl magnets. sorry boys. the truth is we're of the same poles. WE GIRLS ARE REPELLED BY YOU.

before you even start thinking of rebutting, KNOW THIS. girls dont go for looks. those who does are either
1.too pretty and are hence entitled to choosing good looking guys, or
2.bitches or
3.have given up on the male species and just choosing the best of the rotten bananas or
3.all of the above

dont give stupid shit excuses of girls are tempermental and complicated. cos if you have the sincerity and the least bit of ability to admit that you are not fantastic, things wouldnt have turned out so ugly. what i mean by ugly is having to buy brides from vietnam and china. THAT IS PATHETIC. guys going to geylang to look for prostitutes caught on tv. THAT IS PATHETIC.

when a girl likes you, she likes you for who you are and she gives herself to you. as simple as that. but no you dont give her the love she deserves. you hang out with your buddies, talk abt how OH-IM-SO-MIGHTY-MY-GIRL-IS-CALLING-ME-ON-THE-HANDPHONE-NOW-BUT-I-WONT-PICK-UP crap. then go about watching soccer, then watch other tv shows, then come back to your girl. wheres the sense in that?

its the 21st century. we are and never were commodities that you possess. because we are so stupid we put our heart, souls and minds to you, and the best thing you do is to think you are our Gods? cut that crap and go look at your reflection. dont be shocked if you see shit on the other side of the mirror.

because thats what you are.

back from the 2903 chalet. IF you can even consider that a class chalet. no point denying that i wasnt pissed off at any point before the chalet. ive decided to accept joan's point and take the benefit of the doubt that they did try to make an effort to come but couldnt. i totally understand it was difficult and impossible for many of you, but i cant say the same for the rest. ive always believed that if you want to stay as a group or class, everyone has to make an effort. this chalet wasnt a clique thing so i dont think that excuse stands. if you purely feel that we are not 'your type' or for monetary reasons then i accept it as that. but you'll know what i will show you if you can see me now.

well those things aside... here's the photos!

met geri at IRAS before proceeding down to meet joan and jeannie... they were slacking in ya kun... look wad they made with the dark soy sauce...


then we went to the cold storage and swept up the stuff for bbq...


and we checked into the chalet! it was freaking huge. our room was terrace one, and it came along with a flower name for each apartment. our's was acada or something like that. we really liked terrace 4 though. its name was desert rose. :)

then we begin preparing the stuff...

bootylicious geri joan and jeannie hahaha...

while mel was...


no fret. she was into making the fire in spite of her beautifully manicured nails!


but mine rocked better HAHAHA!


but melly had to leave earlier... sobxxx ok im not angry mel. just disappointed! :(

it was kinda late when the people started coming... mr quack reached first! den we started bbqing and munching... and kingman and teresa came! den joce came with chih and crystal!

we melted the bar of chocolate in a wok and dipped our bbq-ed mashmallow into it! the greatness of the taste was affirmed by... non other than jocelyn the gourmet!


and chih is a happy woman with a great new hairstyle to go with. :)


then we chilled out at the table.......


and sat around the bbq... knightresses of the bbq pit.


and mr.quack gave a hand in bbqing! apparently he is obsessed with chilli and hot dogs... HAHAHA. when he took over the bbqing job... he developed what i called the quack system:

ITS TOO NEAT AND ORGANISED!!!!! but that's what you get frm a math tutor! :D

too bad he got hen-pecked...


and had to leave us early (2+am). bye mr quack!


we took a group photo... that was 3+am... we still looked sane.


and we all snuggled into one room, and sat on the bed and talked and talked and talked and talked... about... everything! ive gotta admit no other topic lasted as long as guys and sex. the content were all negative HAHAHA. thats us. tjc arts class.

so the next morning... only me and chih were the sole survivors... while the others woke slowly... we cooked a great pot of myojo noodles (5 packets and 10 eggs in chicken bone soup)...


and joce chih teresa and king left an hour earlier... while we slowly made our way to pack up and wait for the person to allow our check out... and then we left! :)

its been a great bbq (though i was aching like hell and dozing off everywhere)

really didnt mind all the hustling...

and i was a maid for a day...



it was worth it. for you girls :)

let me take a moment to address the many people i know - friends, family members, colleagues - who have joined the Cult of the iPod and now will not shut up about how cool, life-affirming, soul-fulfilling, etc. these things are.

naturally, im happy for all of you.

but you may be surprised to know that not all of us want to live every moment of our lives in a cocoon of blaring music.

not all of us want to sit at our office computer terminals, bopping our heads to an invisible beat, a blissed-out expression on our faces.

not all of us want to huff and puff on gym treadmills with yards of dangling white wires slapping our T-shirts and running shorts.

when others talk to us, not all of us want to first hold up an index finger, the universal sign for "wait" then make a big show of removing our earphones so we can hear.

why, some of us even enjoy extended periods of silence, which we use to think about things.

what kinds of things?

oh, you know. Wwrk things, relationship things, things like that.

things on which you'd sort of like to concentrate without a wall of noise from 50Cent crashing around you.

quite frankly, when we listen to you prattle on and on about your iPod, we start to worry about you.

see, we are not quite as fascinated as you with the Gospel of the iPod: how in the beginning, there was the original iPod, and the original iPod begat the iPod mini, which begat the iPod shuffle, until the Great God Macintosh decreed there should also be an iPod photo, as well as the iPod U2 special edition and blah, blah, blah.

also, we tend not to get caught up in all the breathless speculation about what hi-tech breakthroughs await all of civilization when the next version of iPod is unveiled.

look, it's a music player, ok?

its not the cure for cancer.

theres also this: we dont understand why you spend hours and hours online looking for cool accessories for your iPod, such as that nifty little iPod holster so many of you wear on your belts, or the iPod camera connector, iPod travel pack, iPod silicon cover etc.

finally- and I dont want you to take this personally -we are sick and tired of hearing how many millions of songs your iPod can hold.

by the way, what is the exact figure now?

forty thousand?

two hundred million?

fourteen billion?

well, whatever it is, who cares?

whos got time to listen to that much music?

ok, maybe if the average person lived to be 700 years old and listened to music morning, noon and night, you could listen to that many songs.

but otherwise, thats a bit of overkill, isnt it?

anyway, it seems to me that the music is only part of the reason you people are so willing to plunk down 300 bucks for an iPod.

the other part is: it gives you a refuge from the outside world.

slip in those earphones, and suddenly you're moving through life in your own private little glass submarine.

the boss isnt barking orders and making you miserable.

the teacher isnt all over you about your homework.

your mom isnt screaming at you to pick up your clothes and clean your room.

its just you and the music, and nothing else seems to matter.

ok, fine. suddenly the whole iPod thing doesnt sound so bad.

except ... it can be.

on too many levels, the self-cloistering of so many of our citizens feels vaguely unsettling.

case in point: a busy food queue during office lunch hour.

im in line to pay the cashier before collecting my food, because God forbid anyone eats first these days.

the guy at the front of the line is iPoding heavily. the white earphones are the dead giveaway. he hands the cashier a bill and says: "ten dollars."

"what did you order, sir?" the cashier asks.

the guy doesnt answer. he just stands there nodding and smiling.

the cashier tries again.

"what order?"

again, the guy says nothing. he nods and smiles, nods and smiles.

this time the cashier shouts "WHAT ORDER?!" loud enough to be heard in penang.

only then does the guy remove his earpieces and say: "value meal 4."

im sorry. but in a just society, that simply cant be tolerated.

they wed yesterday.

like, WTF!

in case you are still wondering, im in the diana camp.

i live in a family where britain's royals matter to us.

i just found that out yesterday though. my mom told me that my grandmother looked up to the royal family, especially when we were still a part of them. she even kept a photo of elizabeth and philip with little charles smiling happily.

certainly, little charles hasnt grown up at all.

for a little background information, charles and camilla met at a windsor polo match in 1970, a year before the prince joined the royal navy. he was 21 and she was 22. they became GREAT friends but there was no proposal and camilla married cavalry officer andrew parker bowles.

charles dated diana in 1977. shes a ****ing 16 years old.

charles married diana in 1981.
(diana was 20, charles was 32, camilla was 33)

diana wasnt some duchess. she was a normal kindergarden teacher, simple and pure. so she was certainly just as "unqualified" as camilla to be married into the royal family.

therefore there wasnt any restrictions, agree?
if he could marry diana, he could marry camilla, agree?

the only reason i could think of was that diana was younger and prettier. thats why.

so he met camilla first, been great friends, had more than one decade to choose between camilla and diana, and he chose diana, only to have an illicit affair with camilla, which drove diana to her grave (pun intended) and after being labelled as an adulterous pair and turning the whole royal family topsy turvy THEN he married her?

*frowns*

the media reported that MAJORITY OF THE PEOPLE SUPPORTED the union of the sinners.

if you look closer, this was what the public felt:

32% said they would SUPPORT
29% OPPOSED
38% said they DID NOT CARE
2% had NO OPINION

dont be stupid. 78% of the people DO NOT SUPPORT the rottweiler!

if they had, wouldn't they have chosen that option?

elizabeth shunned them, and the wedding had to be postponed again and again. and why?

1.the prince's office had to alter the laws JUST TO MAKE SURE SHE DOESNT BECOME QUEEN OF ENGLAND, and

2.the pope's funeral. EVEN THE POPE is sending signs.

ah well. winner takes all.

we live in a society that fears change, so theres no telling how a revolutionary new plan to change the look of supermarkets will go over.

nevertheless, such a plan is exactly whats being proposed in this blog today.

lets begin with this hypothesis: people are ok with shopping in a supermarket as long as its the one they usually shop in and they know where everything is.

but once they go into an unfamiliar supermarket, their stress levels go through the roof.

suddenly, their minds are a jumble of questions.

wheres the milk? which aisle has the campbell mushroom soup? the bread- issit in the front of the supermarket or the back?

soon, what you have on your hands is an irritated, half-crazed shopper racing a trolley up and down the aisles and barking questions at anyone stocking the shelves.

"the bah kuteh spice packets- WHERE ARE THEY?!"

so that, basically, is the problem.

now, how do we fix it?

simple: we demand uniformity in supermarket layouts.

we, the grocery-shopping public, demand that no matter what supermarket you're in- Shop and Save, Giant, NTUC, etc.- the layout is the same.

the milk will be over here, the campbell mushroom soup will be over there, the bah kuteh spice will be in another place- but always the same place in each store.

as to exactly how this can be done, well, i've got that covered, too.

(look, im not going to propose something as bold and visionary as this unless the whole thing has been thought through yah? this isnt some half-built terminal 3 in changi airport. this thing has all the lists checked twice, mr.lee)

heres the plan: all the products in a supermarket will be arranged in alphabetical order.

NO, hear me out.

those items that begin with the letter A- apples, asparagus, alcohol- would be located in the first aisle all the way to the left as you walk in.

the A aisle will blend seamlessly into the B aisle (biscuits, bananas, bleach). And the B aisle will blend into the C aisle (cat food, cereal, condoms) and so on.

this will be especially convenient for anyone shopping for one or two items.

do you know how irritating it is to dash into a store for, say, a pair of tongs, only to spend 20 minutes wandering the aisles looking for the stupid thing?

this is why people are so rude to each other.

who wouldnt want to beat someone on head with a 3310 after you just spent 20 minutes trying to find tongs?

well, under my plan, those days are over.

in fact, once we get the supermarkets to sign my proposal, i think you'll see a general trend of people being more polite to each other.

also, not to brag, you'll probably see fewer people seeking counselling for marriage problems and getting jailed for killing their maids for buying the wrong things in the supermarket.

because, look, under my plan, when you go into a supermarket for a pair of tongs, you'd go straight to the T aisle.

and you'll know the T aisle would be located somewhere on the far right of the supermarket as you enter.

so you wouldnt have to wander all over the store and risk having some frustrated shopper slam into you with her trolley because shes so preoccupied with trying to find, er, i dunno, panadol or alphabet macaroni.

which would be in the P aisle and M aisle, respectively.

*no, alphabet macaroni would not be in the A aisle. in this case, you go by category type. dont think too hard about this. go with your first instinct.

anyway, the beauty of this plan lies in its simplicity, although selling it to the big retail grocery chains would probably be tough.

you know how those people are.

with them, everything is focused on profits than anything to do with the union congress.

and all you want to do is find the tongs.