today we present the first edition of The Guide to ATM Etiquette, which should be referenced anytime someone is waiting behind you to use the machine, and especially if that someone behind you is me:

-let's start with the basics. GET READY.
for guys: like how you are to get into your girlfriend's pants.
for ladies: like how you are when you queue up in front of robinsons for the singapore sale.

i can't stress this enough.

there is nothing more maddening than being behind someone who gets to the ATM, then begins laboriously rooting through coat pockets for eyeglasses, or rummaging through your bag for your wallet THEN rummaging through your wallet for your ATM card. until your stubby little fingers reach the keys, this process can take all day.

there is a term for people who do this. but it can't be said here, as i just started a non-vulgarity campaign for get ready for my upcoming job. and i need to hold onto this job for a while.

*a word to the wise: there is nothing people hate more than getting stuck behind someone doing all his or her banking for the next 10 months.

people will want to hit you with a brick.

-on a related note, my sister believes the only transaction anyone should ever do at an ATM is WITHDRAWAL. and that other machines that do deposits and passbook checkings should be converted to withdrawal ATMs.

she is a teacher/workholic, and such people have very little patience for dawdlers. this is probably due to the kids, and the fact workaholics are always in a hurry to get work done.

i don't feel quite as strongly about the withdrawal thing as she does. but i don't like getting behind the guy making 14 deposits and checking the balance a dozen times, either.

that would be the job of BANKS.

-when you're done, get out of the way.

theres a tendency among some ATM users to engage in excessive tidying-up when through with their transaction.

they stand there putting their ATM cards back in their little holders, putting their receipts in their wallet, putting their wallet back in their pocketbook, putting their little holders into their bags and so on and so forth.

don't do this.

the people in line behind you will not admire your thoroughness. they will not marvel at how organised you are. they will hate you.

-a word about children using the ATM.

as the parent of a toddler or primary school kid, you may feel its 'cute' to have little Priscilla or Jeremy punch the keys during your transaction.

you may even feel the ATM is an ideal place to conduct their first little lessons on banking and finance, a place to explain what a checking account is, how a savings account works, etc.

do it on your own time, ok?

the rest of us have a life to get on with.

-a word to rookie users of ATMs.

its hard to believe that some 20 years after ATM's were first introduced, there are still people unfamiliar with the basic operation of the machine.

to those people, i would say this: perhaps 6pm on a friday night at a orchard ATM is not the best time to swipe your card, giggle at the screen and chirp: "wah ive never done this before!"

notice all those people in line behind you?

notice how none of them appears to be in a good mood?

these people need cash. they have to get home. they have to go for Ladies' Night in Chinablack.

and you're holding them up.

they want to get drunk. they want to have fun. they need to take care of their wailing kids at home whom they have dumped with Maria. they dont want to show you how to access your checking account.

-the Great Battle Over Handphones is lost, we all know that.

the Forces of Darkness have won.

people now think nothing of carrying on even the most intimate, or insane, phone conversations in any setting, in front of anyone.

nevertheless, it would be nice if you could just hold off talking on your handphone for the minute or so that you're at the ATM, and devote your full attention to the transaction.

this tends to speed things up.

sure, we all like to hear more of the loud conversation you're having about your horrible boss or slutty collegues or infidel boyfriend- it sounds fascinating.

but maybe you could get your banking out of the way before you resume bitching about them in public.

HAIRY ISSUE

in its long and illustrious history, this blog has always been about ME, ME, and ME. its time i stand up for the down-trodden, the oppressed, the ladies who play by the rules and still can't get a fair shake, etc.

so i was naturally concerned when i found out many of my male friends prefer girls with LONG hair than SHORT ones.

WHY? i asked.

dunno. one said.

WHY? i asked again.

cos girls look more feminine with long hair, they said.

by God! i thought to myself. this will not stand!

then i completely forgot about it. because i was out with peiqin chihin jocelyn and joel or something. or maybe it was discussion of the new production.

but the other day, when i told another male friend i had cut my tresses (yes i was REALLY exaggerating), he ceased all sort of communication with me. SMS, MSN. you name it. i decided to raise the question.

what's with hair?

taken from www.dictionary.com, hair is defined as:
any of the cylindrical, keratinized, often pigmented filaments characteristically growing from the epidermis of a mammal.

in other words, its part of us, a feature, like your nose, eyes, mouth.

so to guys, this equation should stand:

LONG HAIR=APPEALING

multiply negative on both sides:

therefore SHORT HAIR=LESS APPEALING

lets check it out on some females whom we all know too well:


Baby One More Time (1999)-SOLD 22,770,230


In The Zone (2003)-SOLD 7,891,689

while on the other hand:


Rapunzel (1857) - translated into more than 160 languages, SOLD billions.

ok i see a trend coming on... how about something more recent?

In FHM's top 10 most sexiest women:

1. Angelina Jolie (2) --->LONG HAIR
2. Jennifer Garner (4) --->LONG HAIR
3. Paris Hilton (38) --->LONG HAIR
4. Charlize Theron (8)
5. Halle Berry (3)
6. Alyssa Milano (4)
7. Teri Hatcher --->LONG HAIR
8. Pamela Anderson (9) --->LONG HAIR
9. Scarlett Johansson (new entry) --->LONG HAIR
10. Lindsay Lohan (new entry) --->LONG HAIR

and that's around the world.

right here on our island, everyone knows how hopelessly hot it is.

so girls have long beautiful silky hair, prancing along the beach in their bikinis. is that the ideal singapore girl for guys?

but the long beautiful silky hair gets tangled, and it gets all oily and sweaty which is UGHHHHH. which of cos, our male counterparts have no idea about.

then my friend explained to me. since men and women are genetically different, it is only natural to be attracted to a girl who looks less like a male, i.e. long hair. just like how a girl will be less appealing if she had a muscular square jaw.

to be honest, this made alot of sense to me.

i asked myself. would i be attracted to guys with LONG HAIR? would YOU?



unless that long hair guy had something eg: rippling muscles, cool rock star image, deep voice that sends seismic waves that either compensates for or suits the hair, will us girls be attracted to long haired guys? i know i wouldnt even be near a guy who looks like he's just been released from the iron mask. (provided its not dicaprio under that mass of hair)


isnt this better?

OR THIS?



anyway, as i said, i have to side with this stereotype of girls on this one. thats because i myself have the same stereotype of guys...

well ladies. we should still stand on our ground and go for whatever kind of hair we like. it really doesnt matter what guys think of our hair. PLEASE tie it up if its hot. i really cant stand some girls with untied long hair in the baking heat desperately trying to look good.

cos you don't.

goodbye 3310! hello 7260!



new phone with colour, camera, radio, voice recording, polyphonic tones. know im lagging since ive been using ancient 3310 for past 3 years. now totally in fashion as 7260 still on tv adverts.

go me!

team america
great movie full of sex vulgarities and violence. now understood why ive never been successful in attempts to watch pearl harbour.

remembered a friend of mine.

me:hey i love to watch movies! whats your favourie movie?
friend:i love watching movies too! i love pearl harbour!

definitely gay. even elijah wood hates it.

lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events

unfortunate event 1: no nirby no josh only fucking 2
unfortunate event 2: long queue for tickets
unfortunate event 3: no good seats in cinema
unfortunate event 4: no ATM machine in whole of tampines mall
unfortunate event 5: pig lost her wallet full of $ with IC
unfortunate event 6: pig's mom scolds
unfortunate event 7: pig late for meeting
unfortunate event 8: pig lost remaining $10

feel v sorry for pig. sorry for the choice of movie.

me and pasta
never seem to try anything else on pasta eateries except marinaras. no cream no cheese already shrinks pasta scope to minimal. but am content to eat prawns squids clams mussels all in one with tomato. why not?

ECP
met up with 3602 for dinner at pasta fresca (sp?) for birthday of qicong darren and sueann. was worried about ants in sand but were unfounded. instead flawless legs got scratched by stupid chairs over and over again. wonder if God has decided to destroy my legs. mosquito bites in stupid centre plus scratching by chairs is lethal combination. shall wear long pants out in future.

last day in marian centre
finally put an end to misery. no free labour for old fat teachers. no whining shouting screaming kids. most importantly no more insulting questions about MY obesity. shall share photos soon. not about the obesity. about the last day.

university
glad to move on to uni soon but still dunno what to do in life. sometimes just want to slouch, sitting in front of computer with sagging boobs resting on inflating belly doing nothing.

fat no more
going on strict diet from today onwards (though probably wont last for more than a day) and exercising but from 730am till now still slouch, sitting in front of computer with sagging boobs resting on inflating belly doing nothing.

Your Brain is 53.33% Female, 46.67% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

ok maybe im not THAT male afterall!

PHOTOS PHOTOS PHOTOS!

Case: The Riot of Orchard Road

Profile:
Name:JOEL
Age:18
Occupation: National Slave




check out the elfish shoes (i managed to salvage this spoilt photo! YAY!)


the fried rice in crystal jade was not enough for a NS (refer to profile above) like joely


ok he looks abit like the cougar

Profile:
Name: Peiqin
Age: 18
Occupation: Jobless



Profile:
Name: Chihlin
Age: 18
Occupation: Singapore Communication Oppressor Slave




Profile:
Name: Christina
Age: 19
Occupation: Jobless





for those who still remembers permutation and combination...




the 3 girls who didnt get an A for geog. BUT WE'RE STILL HAPPY! here's us at the traffic to heeren


cakes from NYDC


JK Rowling must be jumping mad when she sees this. Order of the Phoenix: $7.95


to end this off... the beautiful "night sky" of wheelock place

the story begins as this senior of mine from my drama group talking to me during chinese new year celebrations at my teacher's house.

P:eh you know peiwen?
me:eee...
P: why?
me:i dont like her.
P: why?
me:she's in my CCA and in the committee. and those in the committee act as if they know EVERYTHING about theatre. its damn irritating lah.
P:didnt you tell them that?
me:no lah. why should i waste my energy?

and that was it... until just now when i was sweeping the cobwebs off my friendster account when i noticed a photo on his account. there they were. so intimate; she giving that sickeningly sweet smile. i can almost see the veins popping out from her cheeks.

my first reaction: FUCK! the next thing i did was sms him.

"pls dont tell me peiwen likes you or something. PLEASE!"

"hee hee she is my GIRLFRIEND. i ask your opinion of her that day ok. how did you find out?"

i dont give a shit if he tells on me. but why is it HER? of ALL girls in singapore?!? he's my FRIEND! and i DETEST her!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

You Are 10 Years Old

10 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

time is now 1am. and im tearing my hair out in ultimate frustration.

spent the whole day making something known as the friendship band.

my first attempt


my second attempt


5 hours later...


screwed the whole thing up. im SO not the handicraft person. so much for trying to get in touch with my feminine self. which leads to one conclusion:

I HAVE NO FEMININE SELF.

shit.

the truth is out! not fantastically good, but a OK. thanks for all the smses and stuff by everyone...

Maths A
Lit B
Geog C
GP B3

im ok with them... except i didnt expect a C for geog... but i dont really care. still deciding on where to go... shall go check out the open house next saturday! anyone coming? tell me yah! go together! *winks*

remembered a book i read in pri4. its still my favourite book of all times. maybe i didnt noe why i liked it so much. its gothic. hahaha.this illustration is v captivating... LOVE IT! managed to find it so here i post it.

stupid things i have to do in marian centre:
1. design boards.


2. draw for the kids.


3.give kids my happy meal toys.

bye bulbasaur, bye spinda! *sobx*

THATS WHY I CANT WAIT TO QUIT!

im totally incapable of writing anything least humourous anymore.

i haf had enough, with my boss threatening to cut my pay everytime i get stuck in a traffic jam. im doing all the shit jobs in the centre now that the staff has found out that im leaving soon.

but i enjoy them... like revamping the notice boards and drawing for the kids. took some photos... shall share post-results.