this is wad i saw yesterday at a certain prestigious blog's tag board:
SHIT! SHIT! ALL SINGAPOREANS ARE SHIT!!!
this came from a 15 year old asian american boy.
what could have angered someone who hasnt been living in Singapore through PSLE, Olevels, Alevels, or NS for that matter? i could only think of a few possible reasons:
In America, being asian(especially chinese looking, or ugly looking, or both) can sometimes be a disincentive.
- beautiful dumb blondes shun you
- all the kids are taller than you
- everyone thinks you're from China
In other words, you have no friends. Hence, feeling such a sense of letdown eventually results in anger. It isn't his fault he's asian looking! It's not his fault he's ugly! It's DEFINITELY not his fault he's BOTH asian looking AND ugly! DAMN!
WHY? why does God have to make him what he is? Being such a devoted Catholic, he seeks to pursue an answer to his question.
And he formulates his own answer. Yes! God made him SO ugly, and threw him, an asian, into a caucasian-ruling country, definitely wants to compensate him by putting him in America, a land full of human rights! HE HAS THE RIGHT to look down on anyone who's asian BUT not living in such a shit life as him!
EVERY asian girl's a BITCH! EVERY asian guy's... wait. He doesn't know. He can't curse asian guys, cos he's ONE!
Therefore, he seeks to change himself. Frustrated, he picks up a self-help book.
Step 1: Discriminate all Singaporeans
Step 2: Stop speaking Singlish
Step 3: Try to focus on the good stuff in America, e.g: You can drive at 16!
Step 4: Whenever possible. use God's name to make yourself sound holy
Step 5: Indulge in American slang. Use "dude" to punctuate every sentence you say. Repeat this 10 times an hour, 240 times a day
Step 6: Broaden your arguing scope! Learn new languages! French, Spanish, Latin, Greek, you name it! If you have problems trying to argue with asians on the same level of intelligence, always resort to a foreign language to confuse them
Step 7: Get every friend you have to discriminate together with you. This can help to make the process more enjoyable
Step 7: If you don't have friends, invent them! Be creative, like what Americans are. Names like Charlotte, Jane, Renee, Peter, Mary and Dominic are good ones to start with. The more the merrier.
Step 8: Now go into you school's Science lab.For your benfit, you must try to act dumb because Science and Mathematics are not supposed to be the forte for American students. Especially Chemistry.
Step 9: Start opening the stopper in every chemical in the lab, and pour it on yourself. Start from head first. Tip: those at the teacher's bench are especially effective.
Step 10: The regime must continue for 3months. You'll be a totally new person! You'll become a slang spouting, anti-asian, ang moh look-alike who's neither ang moh nor asian! And you look better than you ever did!
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