we are all born mad. some remain so.

mom's going to open a flower stall. she always wanted to be a florist (said she never stole anything before except flowers).
but i have always pictured it as a nice shop in a shopping centre with the fridge and everything. selling in the market?!? it just sounds so... new. mom's never run a business before, and ive been bothered by many difficulties that i foresee. where is she going to order flowers from? are there no one else to look after the stall when she goes for meals or washrooms? will she be successful? i guess maybe i'll encourage her to try for 2 months... see how it goes.

im kinda freaked out by my sister. im sad to say but i think shes really starting to be despo. its like, ANY guy that seems to be a little more friendly to her will lead her mind astray into thinking that there may be SOMETHING between them. does it happen when you hit your mid-20s?
first it was this person she met on a golf lesson who's obsessed with MLM. then it was this guy who was her NJC classmate and she hardly talked to him before! he's like this rah-rah person who's completely NOT my sister's type. next was this ang moh art teacher from switzerland. she travelled all the way from my house (choa chu kang) to ECP just to show him around ECP!?! and she only know him for less than a week. if that is not enough, now is this INDIAN (no im not racist) teacher at school whom i dunno how had seem to click with her. and he likes to watch CSI (same as me, worse luck) and my sister showed a sudden interest in the show out of the blue by keenly asking me about it.
for each case, she'll come home and mutter things like "i think being with someone who knows you since JC is good right?" or "he said i had a calming effect on him leh!" and most recently, "hmm... sometimes maybe its fun to marry someone NOT of yr ethnic race ah?"
im sick and tired of these insinuations and i wish im more stupid so as not to pick up what she means behind her words. or maybe its just bcos i have a tendency to excavate the meaning, being a lit student. desperate i may be, how can i tell her that she really need to find a suitable guy to settle down with WITHOUT being despo. being despo undermines her intelligence and a woman's dignity.

brother's convocation is this sunday. im supposed to put on my best dress and look nice while filming the convocation on the viewcam. tell me. how does one look glam with a nice dress on while taping something?!? but im glad for my brother. after so many years of toiling, he's earned his well-deserved 2nd class honours (though i tink alot of people did better than him!?!)

i am trying to learn Erik Satie's Gymnopedie No. 1. its one of the music used in eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and i love it so much! it has a calming effect on me, though it sounds kinda melancholic as well. but unfortunately my stubby fingers aren't cooperating with me and my meticulous brother has forced me to play scales smoothly first before i try anything "beyond my ability".

so far my common tests are just OK. the results have not been improving though its doing better than last year. to say that im not disappointed in myself this time is a lie. i should be getting AT LEAST straight Cs but im still getting Es. this really sucks but surprisingly im not too affected by it.