we are all born mad. some remain so.

havent been feeling emotionally and mentally stable the past week. i think im getting adapted to uni lifestyle, and the different kinds of people in here.

felt ultimately lousy. cried 3 times last week. i guess it was due to a few factors:
1. i dont feel as close to sheares people as i used to partly due to the fact that new freshies came in and i didnt know them, and i feel its difficult to get to know them as well as i did with ock...
2. archi pple are really "devoted" to work. quote my tutor "architecture is a superficial profession."
enough said.
3. i miss home.

many times i realised the ock girls werent around when there are certain activities, and vice versa. so i felt really alone at those points in time. work was overloading especially since i missed the first week. i felt like im the only person facing this whole load of stuff, WHICH IS IN FACT TRUE. i had so many things to do, which i dont want to do, and sometimes it was too much to take.

i didnt have time to miss my production crew, i didnt have time to clean my room (which seriously looked like a dumping ground) i didnt have time to eat, i didnt have time for a panadol, i didnt have time to cry. walking to lessons, waking up and sleeping at bizzare hours... physically i felt alright, but mentally my soul was literally sucked out of my body to shang tsung (think mortal kombat).

when i cried, the ock girls were there for me. when i cried, my mom was there for me. when i cried, i was alone. crying really makes one feel better. i pity guys who cant cry in front of everyone. no wonder they have residing hairline much earlier than women. at least i have time to cry...

mel gave me a very very cute (or so she says) hamster that is meant for my bdae... :) thanks mel... i DIDNT name it "melfy" haha... i DIDNT name it "tohweiling" as waylon suggested... i DIDNT name it "tit" after waylon, and i didnt name it after a certain someone hahaha...

its called chunky :)

i dont care if darius is right by saying that the old chang kee days are over, i dont care if we are already frittered. i just want to hold on to what little i have in sheares, and i choose to live in the good times. doesnt everyone deserve that right?

2 more days and im going to be 2decades old. i dont feel happy. God give me a direction. or maybe You already have, its just me... hesistating.