we are all born mad. some remain so.

Food Dairy- Day 14

EEKS!!! ive gained back my 1kg! fuck water retention!!! $30 is at stake for God's sake.

read a couple of blogs and i discovered a pattern.

IDENTITY CRISIS.

why does everyone in the world think that they are misunderstood? why do they think that what people think they are and what they actually really are, are totally different? the thing is, i felt the same way too. after ive changed since last year's ordeal, i found the answers to alot of things. answers that made me feel much more mature.

the answer in this case is: its not a matter of who you really are. its a matter of how you are feeling. it has everything to do with how you feel. it has nothing to do with wearing a mask, or putting up a front or wad ever blah blah blah. thats bullshit. whatever you do, its the real you.

if you feel happy, you ARE happy. if you feel lousy, and wallow in self pity, might as well kill yourself. if you keep bitching, it means you like to bitch. if you act like a bitch, you ARE a bitch. if you feel that you have been fake to pple, it doesnt mean that you are wearing a mask. it means that you ARE fake.

wanna start to be real? start to be yourself? start to show pple how you really feel, and think? fine BUT this doesnt give you licensce to snap at pple or assert your point. just bring across your ideas with tactfulness and if possible, humor, or mock angst. how? its time to start learning. theres many pple. though not alot, who are living life the right way. feeling the right way abt themselves.

and thats why i strongly think that girls should hate guys. and if attached, should not devote her entire emotions to the guy. it corrodes girls from the inside, becoming emotionally dependent on the guys. if the girls feel lousy they'll keep lamenting, hoping to earn some comfort from the guys. viscious cycle.

advice to all who are feeling this way: WAKE UP.

i tink this is the wisest thing ive ever said in my whole life.