we are all born mad. some remain so.

"Hello Hermione!" he said, smiling at her.
"Oh hi Harry." she replied, having no clue on whatsoever that was going on within the biological structure of her friend Harry.
"We've know each other for what, 6 years?" Harry said as he sat next to her in the cold common room.

It was usually empty at this time of the day. Much to his delight.

"Why of course Harry!' she replied uncomfortably, realising Harry was staring at her in an unsual manner.
"So I was thinking," Harry said as he edged closer to his childhood friend who had now blossmed into a rather beautiful woman.
"how is it that you and I never ever gone out before..with you...you know' Harry answered smiling at Hermione as he scaned her nubile body.
"You know what?" she said, feeling extremely irritated with Harry who is now practically sitting next to her.
"Well... you're so beautiful and all," he said as he looked at her with his green eyes.
"Oh Harry that's so sweet!"
"Of course! I'm Harry Potter"
"Well I need to finish my potions essay so if you.."
"You can do that later!" he exclaimed.

With the flick of the wrist, the parchment went flying across the room onto the floor.

"Harry!' Hermione cried. "What on earth are you doing?"
"Getting to know you better," he said. "It seems like I barely know you now," he continued as he slowly placed his hand on her thigh, rubbing his hand around her thigh in circles.

"Harry... please..."
"Hush darling..."
"HARRY NO."
"Come on girl."
"NO HARRY NOOO!"
"Aww come on. Do you wanna be the oldest virgin in Hogwarts?"
"NO Harry stop it!" she cried.
"Come on Hermione. It's not like I've never seen the way you look at me during quidditch trainings."
"No HARRY STOP it!"

But her cries were futile.

As Harry managed to pin Hermonie down,
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?" a familiar voice rang.
Harry turned around. It was Ron.
"HARRY WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"
"Nothing Ron. Me and Hermione are just gonna do a lil' bit of self magic. Now if you'll excuse us..."
"HELP ME RON!" Hermione pleaded as she continued struggling to wrestle her way out of Harry's grasp.
"WHAT THE... HARRY.. WHAT ARE YOU..." Ron spoke as he stared at his two good friends.

Secretly, he too, felt a rush of adrenaline as he stared at the scene unfolding before him. There was this strong sense of justice in him to go help Hermione but somehow he felt rooted to the ground.

"Come on Ron... we can do this together if you want."
"YOU'RE SICK POTTER" she cried.
"SHUT UP BITCH."
"RON HELP ME!"

These were the words that continued flowing into Rons ears as he stood rooted to the ground.
"RON PLEASE... PLEASE RON. OH GOD!"
"Come on Ron. I know how you feel about Hermione. THIS IS YOUR BEST CHANCE!"
"HARRY PLEASE OH GOD STOP HARRY" she cried as a riping sound echoed off the walls of Gryffindor. Harry had managed to tear Hermione's blouse. With an evil laugh, he soon faced Ron shouting,
"COME ON RON! JOIN ME"
"NEVER!" Ron cried as he rushed towards Harry with his wand.

"NIRBY-IS-A-HOE!" he cried as he pointed the weapon towards Harry. A bright spark soon came flying off the wand hitting Harry straight in the chest, sending harry flying across the room.
"Oof!"

"OH RON THANK YOU!" Hermione cried as tears continued streaming down her eyes.
"Er. no problem," he replied as his eyes stared at Hermione's bare shoulders. The shoulders that were exposed by Harry.

"you'll pay for this!" Harry snarled, revealing his wand.
"MANCHESTER-UNITED-SUCKS!" he shouted.

There was a brilliant flash followed swiftly by a man in red running towards Ron.

"GET DOWN!" Hermione shouted, waving her wand at the man.
"ORIENTAL-DELIGHT!"

The man vanished at an instant with a loud explosion.

"DAMM YOU!" Harry shouted as he raced forward in the direction of where the duo stood.
"EAT THIS!" Ron shouted, throwing a stool at Harry.

Unfortunately, the stool missed Harry completely. But it was successful in hitting the old picture that hung behind him.

"Ouch!" cried the picture.

"DAMMIT RON! FOR NIGHTS I'VE HEARD YOU PLEASURING YOURSELF AS YOU MOANED THE NAME HERMIONE! NOW SHE'S WITHIN OUR GRASP AND YOU PLAY THE GOOD GUY?"

"Is that true?" Hermione asked she looked at Ron.
"Er no. He's lying. He's raving mad!" Ron replied, not looking at Hermonie in the eye.
"YOU..." she stammered, pointing at Ron.
"YOU'RE ALL ALIKE!"
"DAMMIT RON. YOU SEE. WHAT'S THE USE OF BEING THE GOOD GUY? I SAY WE TAKE HER!"
"SHUT UP!" He roared at Harry before giving Hermione an apologetic look.
"I'm sorry Hermione. But... I... I... I like you and you're so beautiful and all..."
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP YOU" she cried, covering her ears.
"DAMMIT RON! CAN'T YOU SEE..."
"SHUT UP POTTER!"
"DAMN YOU WEASLEY!"
"FUCK YOU POTTER!"
"FUCK HER, WEASLEY! WHAT HAVE WE GOT TO LOSE? I'M HARRY POTTER DAMMIT!"

"NOOO!" Ron cried, seizing the candle stand that stood upon the table before charging towards Harry.
"You'll go no where near my Hermy!" he growled.

"OOO. MY Hermy now, issit?"
"STOP IT!"
"STAY OUT OF THIS, HERMIONE! I'LL FINISH OFF THIS ASS FOR YOU RIGHT NOW!"
"AWW COME ON RON. She wants a part of the action!"
"THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF ME!" Hermione cried. "AND SO IT SHALL END WITH ME!"

Raising her wand, she cried out "Pirtsemerab!"

Darkness soon engulfed the room followed by the screams of Hermione.
"NOOO! HERMIONE! NOOOOOO!" Ron screamed.
"CLEAN AND CLEAR!" he shouted.

The darkness cleared at once but no Hermione. Feeling a sense of loss he sank to his knees as tears began to roll down his cheeks.
"Hermione..." he muttered.

That was when he discovered Harry was staring at something. It had to be something big because he had never seen Harry staring in such a bewildered manner.
He turn and to his horror there hermonie stood. NAKED.

"Hermione..." said Ron with his eyes fixed on his childhood friend.

"Awww come on Ron. You're always saying she's so uptight. Why not loosen her up!"
"YOU FUCK!" shouted Ron, and he grabbed a broken piece of glass, giving a swipe at Harry.

-WILL HARRY DIE?-
-WILL RON THE UNDERDOG WIN?-
-WILL DUMBLEDORE JOIN IN THE SEXUAL FUN?-
-IS MCGONAGALL A VIRGIN?-
-WILL HERMONIE GET LAID EVENTUALLY?-

FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF:

THE MAGIC OF SEX

disclaimer: it is important to note that the following text is NOT written by me, and the author prefers to remain anonymous. any similarities to anything in existence is purely coincidental, dead or living. this text is also strictly copyrighted. thank you.